Athol Kay

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#35 What is the MAP?

April 21, 2017 by atholkay Leave a Comment

Hello beautiful people, my name is Athol and this is The Chain of Seduction.

In today’s video I’m going to talk about the MAP, M-A-P the MAP.

I’m doing this because I’ve not really talked about it on YouTube. I’ve talked about it in both the books that I’ve written as a central theme. I just haven’t really defined what it is on the videos, so here we go.

The MAP is a shorthand way of referring to the process of making yourself more attractive, improving your life, health,  fitness, dress, and your interactions with people. Rather than complaining at your partner and trying to get them to change, you change yourself to become more attractive, thus they become more attracted to you. The happy side effect being that your relationship improves. The MAP is shorthand for that.

In the first book, The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011, and word to the wise do not put a year or date in the title of your book. You will regret it. You will regret it in about six months when it turns to the next year. I did that because originally I thought I would update the book every year and it will amazing. In 2012 I made five good attempts to update The Primer and it just got darker and heavier with each attempt. It just went to a darker, meaner place and I didn’t like it and thus didn’t publish.

The flip side to that is the second book in 2013, The Mindful Attraction Plan, where the MAP stood for Mindful Attraction Plan. In The Primer it was called the Male Action Plan because I was aiming at guys. But honestly what I wanted to call it was the Marriage Action Plan, and that was trademarked by Match.com. They didn’t do anything with their trademark, but it was trademarked so I couldn’t use it. So the Mindful Attraction Plan was more co-ed and more whole life, so that’s kind of how it went to.

The Primer is very, very focused on gaming your partner and trying to make the relationships more engaging and fun. The Mindful Attraction Plan is far more about managing your personal energy levels, fixing your whole life, looking at your life as a big structural set of problems. It’s a macro approach. The Chain of Seduction model kind of takes the best of both worlds.

The next part of the video I think is going to be interesting to people who’ve read either or both of these books. So I’ve talked in the videos about the six links in the Chain of Seduction: Physical, Attraction, Comfort, Energy, Initiation and Consummation.

In The Primer, the concepts of Alpha and Beta very much align to the concepts of Attraction and Comfort in the Chain of Seduction. I’m basically talking about exactly the same thing.

And of course The Primer was very heavy on gaming, and initiating, and escalating, and instigating things and that all very much aligns to the Initiation link in the Chain of Seduction.

In the Mindful Attraction Plan I actually had six different spheres of your life that you could work on, and four of them, the Physical, Displaying High Value, Relationship Comfort and High- Energy Sex, perfectly align to the Chain of Seduction things of the Physical, Attraction, Comfort and the Consummation link.

The Mindful Attraction Plan had nothing about Initiation but the whole book is about energy and is your life put together right. Do you have enough structural things in place that your life is supported? And certainly the Money and Materials and bits of the Personality and Preferences stuff, and the whole energy question just completely fits into that Energy link in the Chain of Seduction.

So the Chain of Seduction really does adapt and use the best bits of everything that’s come before it plus add a few more things, most particularly the Relationship Momentum question which The Mindful Attraction Plan kind of sort of almost had it and The Primer had no clue.

 

I also find interesting and powerful the Enneagram personality system. I have found so much value and insight and benefit to people once you find out what their Enneagram types are. It explains a whole lot of the personal interactions and it also explains why people are more attracted to some things or less attracted to others, what creates comfort, what doesn’t supply it. And that’s just the whole much, much deeper question. So I’d love to get to that at some point in the videos.

So I’ve rambled on long enough. So what is the MAP? It’s just the shorthand process to improving yourself, making yourself more attractive, focusing on what you need to do for the Chain of Seduction, making yourself a better, stronger, more attractive person so that your partner is more attracted to you and wants to please you and give you what you want in your relationship.

That’s about it. I will talk to you tomorrow, well that’s the plan. I will talk to you tomorrow and I’m going to start going through the six links in the Chain of Seduction piece by piece so we can get a little more insight on each of these six links, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

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