#37 Attraction – Second Link of the Chain of Seduction

Hello beautiful people, my name is Athol and this is The Chain of Seduction. Today we’re continuing the series where we talk about each of the six links in the Chain of Seduction and today we’re up to the second link, the Attraction link.

If you can remember back to the earlier videos, the Attraction link is based on the Love System that is all about high energy, high stimulation and the neurotransmitter dopamine. So everything I’m talking about in the attraction link, is going to be something that is highly stimulating It’s going to be some sort of display of strength as opposed to weakness, some kind of display of high value as opposed to low value.

The other thing that I want you to take away from this video there is not a one size fits all solution to being attractive. I’m sure if you’ve read stuff online, if you’ve watched some other videos where people are talking about being Alpha, it really does feel like there’s a one size fits all version of what Alpha is. In the real world people are attracted to some different things, thus there are some different Brands of Attraction. Though like I say, there’s a common theme of there’s a display of strength as opposed to weakness, a display of high value as opposed to low value.

There are Brands of Attraction just the same way the Five Love Languages explain types of creating Comfort. I have some disagreements with the Five Love Languages which I’ll get to in the next video where I talk about Comfort. If you know your partners preferred Brands of Attraction you can adjusted your efforts to create Attraction to match their interests. Also you can stop putting a lot of energy into trying to be attractive one way, if your partner is actually really attracted to something else.

So the first Brand of Attraction is Physical. I know I sound like a broken record and like I’m mentioning the first link in the Chain of Seduction again, but some people get a massive dopamine rush over people that are in good shape. It’s not just a question of whether or not they pass the first link of the Chain of Seduction, because being in amazingly amazingly good shape gives them a surge of excitement, adrenaline and dopamine. So for some people it seems as if Physical as the be all and end all.

Another Brand of Attraction is Stereotypical. These are the women who are are really attracted to the Manly Man. He’s out there chopping wood and he’s got his beard, doing manly man chores and fixing the house and doing things with cars. Stereotypical guy stuff can really turn some women on. In the same way, some men are turned on by women doing the girly girl stuff, wearing dresses, wearing makeup, long hair and being dainty or whatever. This is one of the things that attracts them. So that Stereotypical guy or girl stuff, for some people is a really important part of their attractiveness and their ability to be attracted.

Another Brand of Attraction is Peacocking, which is the trendy clothing, it’s the attention to detail with makeup. It is here’s my fancy watch and my latest phone, and certainly for the guys here is my cool car, here is my awesome big house. It’s ostentatious displays of available wealth to spend on all my pretty plumage. There are some people who are incredibly attracted to those displays of consumerist behavior. It’s the whole thing of women loving a sharp dressed man. For some people it really is that Peacocking display. Here is my excess wealth. Look how good things are.

The fourth Brand of Attraction is being Impulsive. It’s a neutral way of describing someone who’s being edgy, risk taking, dangerous, high stimulation. This is the guys that like racing the fast cars or motorbikes. It’s that thrill of living a little bit dangerously and a little bit on the edge. This is really something that tends to be far more attractive to women than to men, but certainly the edgy and risky, impulsive woman does have a certain type of appeal. Especially when it comes to the men, this is hearkening back to combat readiness. Think back to the Time Before Writing wiring, this is the type of guy who’s okay with getting in a fight, okay with risking his life to do the derring do. He’ll defeat the guy from the other village, he’ll fight for the girl, he’ll take on saber-toothed tigers or whatever. It really does play into that sense of confidence as opposed to being a coward.

So another Brand of Attraction is Leadership, that social dominance. If Peacocking was sort of a display of ostentatious wealth, then Leadership is a display of actually having power and the willingness to use it. You’re far better off, especially if you’re a guy, if you are running a company or if you’re the principal of a school, as opposed to a retail clerk or working as a janitor. This is one of the things I think that many modern women struggle with if they find powerful men attractive. Because while they can also achieve these positions themselves, it may not translate into men finding them more attractive, if the men are more interested in other Brands of Attraction.

There’s certainly a benefit to being in a position of power if you’re a woman, but it doesn’t always carry that same pull that a man being in that same position of power has. Women are more attracted to the power positions than the men are attracted to the power positions. That’s just sort of one of those modern awkward things. Can certain men be attracted to powerful women? Absolutely, but it tends to happen less often than the reverse.

The final Brand of Attraction is Smart. There are plenty of people that find high intelligence one of the most attractive traits that anyone can have. Smart is an all purpose catch-all for nerd superpowers. It’s your high IQ. It’s your creativity. It’s any kind of impressive skills you have. It’s certainly anyone that is good at music and performance. These are all displays of high intelligence. I am someone that is good at the Smart version of attractiveness and I’m fortunately married to a woman who is attracted to Smart. This is why I sit in front of a wall of books, a couple of which I have written myself. This is a display to you people who are watching that I’m Smart, but it’s also to display to my wife as every time she walks into the room, or transcribes the videos she gets to see the display of how Smart I am.  (See how smart that is?)

So those are the six basic forms of attractiveness. Some people are super into the Physical, above and beyond passing the Physical link in the Chain of Seduction. Some people are really turned on by the Stereotypical manly man, girly girl stuff. Some people are really into the Peacocking displays of wealth and the whole look at me aspect of Peacocking. Some people are really into the Impulsive, edgy, risk taking things. Some people are really into the social dominance and the Leadership and some people are really into Smart.

We all have some sort of minimum requirements in all six of these Brands of Attraction, but usually there’s one or two that we are particularly into that particularly turns us on. Both men and women shop from these six Brands of Attraction.

We can certainly make some sort of clique judgment men are probably more into the Physical and some of the Stereotypical and Peacocking stuff. And we can probably make some sort of clique judgmenty that women are more into the Smart and the Leadership and the Impulsive things. However there is so much variety between individual men and individual women that it really is up to the individual person what they are truly into. If you can find out what your partners Brand of Attraction, you can make a lot more headway in terms of pulling their attention.

That’s about it for today’s video. I hope you liked it. Please like, share, comment and please subscribe. And tomorrow I will be talking about the Relationship Comfort stuff and going through my version of the brands of comfort. And I will talk to you tomorrow.

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