Hello beautiful people, my name is Athol and this is Relationship Momentum. Today I’m going to talk about the common complaint of vacation sex.
I hear it over and over again. We went on vacation. We paid all this money. We went on this trip and the sex was really good. She was really enthusiastic. She was really into it. We tried some different things. She did a bunch of stuff that I wanted her to do for the longest time and then we got back home AND THEN ALL OF IT WENT AWAY. It’s just all gone. We’re right back to how it was, like we never went on vacation.
So let’s talk about why it’s so good on vacation, and explain why it drops away afterward.
What being on vacation does for many, many women is it creates an altered reality bubble where suddenly you are passing all the links that you need to pass in the whole Relationship Momentum model.
You’re not going to get physically more buff, you’re not going to get more fit, but you’re probably passing that link anyway. But when you’re on vacation you kinda sorta pass that Attraction link almost by default because it’s this big display of energy and effort and money. It’s a conspicuous display of consumption. It’s peacocking. And often you are dressing better, and you’re happier, and you’re showing that you can supply all this. Often when you’re taking her somewhere you’re displaying leadership. So there’s all sorts of things that are going to tick off that box on Attraction if you weren’t quite doing it.
In terms of creating Relationship Comfort, well this is again proving that you can take her somewhere, lead her somewhere, the family can go. It’s an awful lot of Quality Time and Shared Tasks and togetherness and there’s not nearly so many distractions. It’s you and her… or you, her and the kids or whatever and it feels good to her. You can end up passing the Relationship Comfort link almost by default and then you’re on to the Energy link.
Well she doesn’t really have any tasks on her other than enjoying herself. She doesn’t have a bunch of responsibilities. She kind of gets to go off duty. So there’s no demands. Everything is fun and it’s engaging and it’s relaxing and she ends up feeling energized and you pass the Energy link.
Then because there’s so much time together and there’s so much little points of contact and initiations, let’s go to breakfast, let’s do the thing, where are we going to eat, what are we going to do, that you end up passing almost all of the Initiation links in terms of the non-sexual stuff almost by default. So all that’s left to do is to initiate sex and have the sex.
It’s easy because being on vacation puts you into this altered reality bubble and you pass all the links in the chain. So as a result you get awesome sexy wife who likes doing it and you have a lot of fun.
Then you go back home and then everything reverts back to baseline of reality as the fantasy bubble pops. The party’s over. We’ve got to go back home where we have jobs and chores and bills and things to do and demands on our time. She goes back home and there’s laundry and who goes what and where and the kids need homework and she’s back to reality.
So I think you have to see that vacation sex being good is a normal, expected thing. Then when you come back home it’s expected that it will revert close to back to baseline.
That being said, I think you really can get some gains in your overall Relationship Momentum by going on vacation, having a great time and having some really great sex. It proves that the relationship really can work when things are going well, and I think that gives you confidence there’s nothing medically or psychologically wrong with her. She can actually respond. It’s all good.
Also when you’re on vacation you probably change too. You’re probably a little more fun, relaxed, high energy and fun to be with. Some of going back home may be that you’re changing back as well. Especially if your face suddenly falls and you’re all grumpy and moody and irritable that the sex kind of just dropped back down to the baseline.
The one thing that I am concerned about though, is when you go on vacation, spend a lot of time and money, do a lot of planning, everything is awesome… and she’s miserable. There’s no sex or next to no sex and it’s pretty stale and unenthusiastic and she’s just not into it or you. That’s a really bad sign because how do you make life better than being on vacation, staying in some nice hotels, eating at nice restaurants and doing fun stuff? How do you make it better than that? If she’s still miserable then, it means your relationship’s in a fairly bad place and you’ve got to have some real concerns about where you’re at.
But overall what I want you to take away from this is that vacation sex being good is expected, and reverting back to baseline is also expected. But you can maybe get some basic lower level boost to your relationship by doing it. It’s not the be all and end all, but it’s certainly worth a shot, and it’s certainly something to do.
So that’s about it. I hope you liked the video. Please like, share, comment and subscribe, all that good internet stuff. And I will talk to you tomorrow.