#49 Fair Warning Before Cheating

Hello beautiful people, my name is Athol and this is Relationship Momentum.

So today it’s a Tuesday so beginning of my week. I’m having a lot of coaching calls today and I’m somewhat frazzled and burnt from the amount I’ve done today. I kind of want to talk about the calls in very, very general senses because the calls today very much fell into two distinct groups.

The first group, if you could think of the relationship problem as being like a house, they’re coming to me where their houses need a whole bunch of sort of cosmetic work. Okay work on your fitness, dress better, use a little game. Also they had some structural problems with the house. Okay we have some cracks in the foundation. We need to work on the roof. We need to fix this wall. Maybe this house needs to be a little bigger. These are all fixable and workable and there’s a process but there’s some real hope. I often see genuine progress relatively quickly as the cosmetic and structural stuff is worked on.

On the other group of calls that I had, you see that same thing of needing cosmetic work and some structural work, but there’s also an affair situation. That’s like the house is also on fire. So it needs a new roof AND it’s on fire.

Now I’m not saying that affair situations can’t be fixed and you can’t come back from them because you certainly can. It’s a long road but you can. But the level of complexity, the level of difficulty, stress and drama is so much greater once you throw an affair situation into the mix.

I can look at my calls today and if I could switch the affair situation from this guy to that one, I think we would probably see a similar level of success in getting things fixed.

I feel like I’m everybody’s Jiminy Cricket moralizing here, but if you’re faced with a choice in your relationship where you can cheat, you have to know that you’re rolling the dice on your relationship ever being fixable. You may be making the decision to if not end your marriage, to certainly really cripple your marriage for potentially years. For something that’s going to perhaps last one night, or a week, or a month or whatever it is. So before you make that choice to do that, before you want to escalate to that position, you really have to think. Because like I say the situations are fixable, but the level of difficulty just goes up, and there’s so much more work and expense and time and effort into fixing things.

Before you cheat, before you have an affair with someone, it is totally in your best interest to run up the flag, shout as loud as you can, really upset the apple cart to get your partner’s attention that you’re not happy in the relationship. Give them one big fair warning shot across the bow. That might work and it might not, but I think it’s certainly worth a shot.

So that’s about it. Like I say marriages and relationships, they can be fun, they can be wonderful. We all face temptations now and then, we just don’t have to escalate it to cheating. That’s a bout it. I’m having a busy, productive day. I hope you’re having a busy, productive day too. And we will talk tomorrow.

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