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Hi there, my name is Athol and I’m here to help you fix your relationship, improve your life and understand your personality. In this episode I have a really great tool that’s going to only take thirty seconds twice a day and can pay really big dividends.
What I want you to do is think about the transition points in your day. So pretty much when one or both of you are leaving to go to work and the other transition point in the day when one or both of you are coming home and you’re meeting up again. What I want you to think about is that last thirty seconds together and that first thirty seconds together. That little window of opportunity. What I find is that if you are consciously positive, upbeat, engaging, fun, friendly, outgoing and seeking out your partner to connect with those little thirty second windows, they set the tone for the whole remainder of the evening or the time apart during the day.
It’s almost like the opening move in a game of chess. There’s a few good opening moves that can set you up to have a good game, and there’s a whole bunch of moves that are terrible, that you will then be having to try and fight your way out of.
So that thirty second window, be conscious of I’m going to be friendly, upbeat, positive, engaging, and seek out my partner. That opening move of pleasantness and positivity is often reciprocated, or at the very least gets a neutral response, as opposed to a somewhat negative and disinterested response. Often you being positive means they become more positive back, and then suddenly we have this positive spiral that goes on for the rest of the evening.
I find this is particularly important for the guys. Especially if there is a stay at home mother, quite often with women they will wait and see exactly how their husband is in the first thirty seconds when he’s coming home. They wait to see if he’s he coming home happy, coming home sad, coming home grumpy, or coming home excited. That thirty second window informs them of how this whole rest of the evening is going to go, in no small part because they will tend to calibrate to him.
So just be conscious of it. It’s a really simple tip. You don’t have to think about your whole day. You don’t have to pretend to be a completely different person, but just be consciously upbeat and connective. So the whole hellos, goodbyes and connection is really important.
That’s about it. And I’m going to leave it there, and I will catch you next time.
Until then my name is Athol. Do that like, share, comment, subscribe and all that cool internet stuff.