Hello beautiful people. My name is Athol, talking about marriage, relationships and getting what you want from them.
In yesterday’s video I talked about sexual frequency being a really good indicator of the overall health and quality of the relationship. When the relationship tends to be very good, sex tends to be frequent and good. When the relationship is not so good the sexual frequency tends to be a lot lower. So a decline of sex is an indicator that something is wrong.
So as a follow on to yesterday’s video, just because there is something wrong with the relationship’s sex life doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily unexpected or unnatural. One of the biggest reasons sex can go away, some kind of disruption to their normal functioning the endocrine system. It’s your endocrine system creating all your sex hormones, that enable your libido, feeling sexy and wanting to have sex. Anything disrupting the endocrine system is going to diminish libido.
Three common factors that will disrupt things are pregnancy, breastfeeding and hormonal birth control. It’s especially true the wife has one, two or three of those factors going at any one time. Also, when you have kids close together, she can she caught up in an endless cycle of being pregnant and breastfeeding, with only a few months of normality between them. Even in the peak of normal health in her twenties, the rapid cycling of pregnancy and breastfeeding, can hammer her ability to have any real libido.
It’s understandably common that the husbands can slowly feel lonely that the sex life is kind of drifting away. This can be true even if they know she has little control over her libido. Also there’s not much you can directly do to combat the loss of libido. The solution to all of this to do what you can for the relationship, maximize your attractiveness, but you may well just have to kind of wait until she’s done with her pregnancy and breastfeeding. It’s only when that is over will we know what the new normal is.
It’s a hard truth at times but it’s the reality. She may love him just fine. She may be committed to the relationship. She may actually be pretty happy but still have a nerfed libido’s because of pregnancy and breastfeeding. Also with a bunch of little kids, there’s sleep deprivation and all purpose exhaustion.
The other thing causing endocrine disruption is hormonal birth control. Often they can have very, very subtle effects that can happen even with changes of type of birth control. I don’t mean switching from condoms to the pill, or an IUD, but sometimes even changing the dosage or medication used for hormonal birth control results in a libido drop.
You’re not necessarily going to see negative effects until they accumulate over time. Always pay attention to when hormonal birth control started, stopped, changed, and then look back and see if anything changed in the sex life around that time. Many women can have no particular negative effects to libido from hormonal birth control, but some of them are really hurt by it.
The other thing that it can possibly be is when it’s the guy having low testosterone, and that’s a whole extra video that I’ll get to at some point. But for the most common ones are for the woman. It’s pregnancy. It’s breastfeeding. It’s hormonal birth control. If you have any of those thrown in there, there is always the possibility that your libido’s going to be diminished. It’s not necessarily anything that the guy is doing to cause it, and it’s not necessarily anything she’s doing to cause it either. It may just be something that is happening to the relationship.
That’s about it, going to leave it there. Please like, comment, share and most importantly please do subscribe. And I will talk to you tomorrow.