How the Internet Screws Up Marriage Advice

(Lightly edited from the transcript… most of the jokes are captions by the Nice Card Mean Card peeps in the video though.)

Hello beautiful people, my name is Athol. I do daily videos talking about relationships and the world in which we have our relationships.

In this episode I want to talk about one of the ways the internet itself can screw up marriage advice. Because if you’ve ever noticed, there is an awful lot of marriage advice on the internet. There’s books and forums and Reddits and all kinds of things, but they tend to be at war with each other. There’s a lot of demonizing of everybody else’s advice and there’s really discreet cohorts that exist out there. So I’m going to talk about that in this episode.

And of course I’m going to use my Nice Card Mean Card little people, because they just explain everything so well.

Nice NiceAlrighty, so let’s take the first cohort. This is the one where people are generally perceived that both men and women are Nice by default. In this group you get a lot of the Christian marriage bloggers. You get a lot of Christian forums where everything is nice and sweet and they’re tossing Bible verses backwards and forwards and everything is beautiful and lovely and praiseworthy. You also get a lot of pro-social based relationship researchers and marriage therapists and marriage counselors and that sort of stuff where they’re basically trying to take this view that both men and women are Nice by default. (Edit: Or at least should be Nice by divine or therapeutic fiat.)

Nice MeanThe second group looks at women as basically Nice but men as basically somewhat questionable, Mean to evil. In these groups you get women who’ve written books about relationships where they’ve talked about their jerk boyfriends and how to stand up for yourself and how to not be taken advantage of by men in relationships. You get feminist viewpoint stuff, and while they may not necessarily think that any one man is necessarily evil, there is an evil society. There is a patriarchy that is oppressing women. Also you get the blogs and advice sites from people like divorce lawyers who are trying to bring to an end some really toxic, hostile relationships where obviously the guy is just evil and the woman is being genuinely abused, whether that is emotional, physical, sexual, whatever. Definitely being screwed over. You get places where people are going who have been sexual assault victims and they have support groups for them.

Mean Nice The third group is where women are basically seen as the Mean ones and men as the good ones. So you have Nice guy recovery books where obviously the guy has to stand up for himself more, but somehow magically the woman in the picture, whether it’s his wife, girlfriend or his mother, is the true source of the problem. You get books about married game for guys, where they need to be more alpha, take a leadership role and stand up for themselves and push back on the evil woman testing them. There’s also the cheating wife revenge porn story trade around forums that you get too, where the evil woman is caught and all the guys in the group get to laugh and say ha ha ha she got caught. I’ll also throw into this group the MGTOW movement, MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Way, where they’re basically saying the guys are good but the women are evil and it’s such a bad situation there’s no point even trying to have a relationship with them. So they just withdraw and not participate, because in their minds a man trying to have a relationship with a woman is like trying to ride a tandem bicycle with a crocodile.

Mean MeanThe fourth group is where they see both men and women being negatively motivated, basically Mean, and it’s a kind of a free for all everybody out for themselves type approach. Often they can be quite depressive about Western Civilization, believing it is all fading away so you might as well just enjoy the decline. The advice is pretty much everything sucks, everything is evil, so you might as well go dark side yourself and just get the most you can, have the most fun, drink the most drinks, party hard as it’s all over eventually anyway. They approach relationships the same way a corporate raider approaches a distressed business. It’s just like, we’re going in to get what we can. We’ll take everything we can from it and then we’ll get out and leave it collapsing behind us.

 

Enter SEO as a Double Edged Sword

Alrighty, so let’s invent a guy with a problem who’s now going to the internet where these four groups exist. So let’s say his name is Paul and his wife has cheated on him. He goes to Google, types in “my wife is cheating on me, what do I do?” and then Paul gets millions of results about cheating wives and how horrible women are and all this sort of stuff. Then he sifts through a couple of dozen websites and just keeps finding again and again this community of men who have also had their wives cheat on them. This is because they’ve searched on the internet as well and everybody’s starting to find each other.

What slowly happens over time is that community of blogs and forums and Reddit and whatever starts becoming an echo chamber for the original problem. Because of SEO, and people searching for this problem, more and more people keep coming into these groups and reinforcing the group’s idea of what the problem is. Slowly after time it becomes an echo chamber. Everybody they know has the same problem. Everybody they know has a cheating wife. Everybody they know had been married to some awful woman, therefore all women are cheats, all women are horrible and everything sucks. The men are the good guys and women are the bad guys, and it reinforces that groups perceptions.

 

Google Alerts!

So let’s take Paul’s example just one step further. He had the cheating wife, he searched on the internet, he found a group of like-minded guys. He’s part of the group. He feels part of the community and he wants to contribute. He decides to contribute by generating content, because everything on the internet needs content to survive. So what does he do? Well he ends up creating a bunch of Google alerts searching for “cheating wives”, “women doing mean things somewhere in the world”, “horrible women”, “bad things that women do”. Every day his email box fills with dozens of examples of women somewhere in the world doing something that is crappy. Then he takes a handful of those, publishes it to his blog, does a YouTube video about it and he starts pumping out this content, thus reinforcing the echo chamber. But again he’s only looking for the things that are bad and that are basically reinforcing the belief of man good, woman bad.

 

Same Problem all Four Groups of Advice Givers

This is happening everywhere. This is the same thing that happens like if you’re a feminist researcher. You have your Google alerts to find things of what men do wrong somewhere in the world. The problem is that this echo chamber thing is happening in all four groups all the time. None of these groups like talking to each other to any degree, because they are all listening to the echo chamber of their own group. They’re hearing constantly reinforcing messages in their own group. They don’t talk to the others and everybody is slowly demonizing everybody else. And once you demonize another group, there’s no point having a conversation, because who listens to demons?

 

The Takeaway

So what’s the takeaway to all of this? Well I think the takeaway is that all four of these groups are at least partially right some of the time. There’s some valuable thoughts and insights in all of these groups, but they’re not necessarily right all the time 24/7 and sometimes they can be badly wrong. I think the truth is starting to accept that both men and women can be either Nice or Mean and you have to judge each situation on its merits rather than just going to some sort of default assumption about the other. And also, not everyone is 100% Nice or 100% Mean, and just because they’ve been 10% Mean doesn’t mean we write them off as 100% Mean.

So summing up, absolutely go to the internet. Ask for advice. Look for advice. But just be aware that there are some echo chambers out there. And at the end of the day, all I’m saying is be mindful.

Alrighty so that’s the show. Thank you so much for watching. I truly do appreciate it.
If you’re new here please consider subscribing, and I will catch you tomorrow.

The One About Learning to Edit

Hello there beautiful people, my name is Athol and I’m here to entertain and explain, doing the daily vlogging thing.

So inspiration. Someone who’s inspired me this week to just give it a go and make it all happen, is Geriatric1927.

“I got addicted to YouTube and it’s a fascinating place to go to see all the wonderful videos that you young people have produced. So I thought I’d have a go at doing one myself.”  -Geriatric1927

With an epic 60,000 subscriptions. But hey he was number one and really, if he can do it why can’t anyone else? (Well except for that thing where you’ve got to get an extra 54 million subscribers to beat PewDiePie.)

So what challenged me this week? I broke down and got Camtasia for the first time and I’ve spent fifteen, twenty hours this week just learning to edit video. I’m a little bit stuck behind my desk in the office, and the only way I can create action in the videos is by actually cutting, editing, and keeping things pacey and edgy.

So anyway Friday I published the first vlog video and we will see if it works and whether or not I become a massive YouTube mega, megastar, MEGASTAR.

So Saturday was all about the coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee, alrighty coffee. And I had a great comment from Lilleybugglane, and she has a nice channel herself. “Hi Athol, fabulous vlog today. I got to thinking as you were talking, sometimes all the fluff is the lure because the product itself is so basic or blah that the fluff gives the illusion you’re really getting something really special if you paid so much money for it.”

I think that is absolutely true and if you want a really great example of that, just think of all of the music concerts now where people are basically lip syncing to the CD that you already have.

And here’s some amazing behind the scenes action of me making coffee that didn’t make the coffee video. (There’s an epic montage in the video of making coffee lol)

Later on I completely ruined the stay at home mom video that I shot. I ended up with a fifteen minute video where the last seven minutes was nothing but dead air that then finished with five seconds of me clearing my throat at the end. It turned out I had a tiny little piece of video on the clipboard way at the end on the Camtasia line. (The completed video is 8 minutes long.) And I thought if I have to render this whole thing again I’m going to do one more check through and I then added a whole bunch of call-outs which is the little speech bubble things that are in that video.

Screenshot (115)

There is a total of ninety-four video segments and call-outs in that video. And of course now I wish I’d thought of doing all that stuff for the Nice Card Mean Card series that I put out a year ago.

And another nice quote, this from Twitter, from someone called PaJamas. “A fan of your branding. I can talk about you in public.” And that whole thing of being able to be public is a huge, huge thought. I should probably do some sort of video about that in the future to explain advertiser friendly and being shareable and being likable and what that means. That is a great, that is a great idea. Thank you.

Since starting the daily vlog thing there has been a notable increase in people starting to subscribe and there has been a notable increase in the number of people watching. And I get that it is totally small potato stuff but it’s fun. It’s fun to see something working.

So anyway that is about it for this video. Thank you so much for watching. Thank you so much for subscribing. It truly means something to me. I really do appreciate it. And if you have questions, thoughts, comments I’m more than welcome to field them. If you have ideas for videos, more than happy to take a look at that too. Like I say, I’m here to entertain and explain and I will catch you next time.

THE One About the SAHM Trap

Hi there. My name is Athol, here to entertain and explain.

In this episode I’m going to talk about why single income marriages can be especially problematic when they’re starting to break down.

What I want you to do for the purpose of argument is imagine that each person in the relationship can either be basically nice or basically mean. Like they only have two choices of card to play through the entire relationship, a Nice Card or a Mean Card. Which get us this sort of four possible outcome: Mean and Nice, Nice and Mean, both Mean or Both nice.

Nice Mean Image

Now I want you to imagine that both people in the relationship earn about the same amount of money, which gets us these four possible outcomes:

 

Nice NiceBoth are nice so they kind of have a happy marriage and a great income together, a nice lifestyle.

 

 

 

 

Mean MeanThey are both Mean and the kind of have a high conflict relationship and eventually the relationship breaks down and fails.

 

 

 

Nice MeanOr she’s Nice, he’s Mean and of course he’s a total jerk that tries to sleep with her sister and his best feature is flatulence.

 

 

 

Mean NiceOr she’s Mean, he’s Nice and she likes having fistfights at DUI stops.

 

 

 

 

So in those four possible outcomes everybody has the opportunity to file for divorce if they want to. They have the actual ability to leave the relationship. I’m not saying if that is a good or a bad idea, I’m just saying they have the capability if they want to. They can cut the relationship down the middle, take half their stuff, and be on their merry way. And if they are Nice people, then they have the opportunity to remarry with someone else who is also Nice. And if they have half their stuff and the second Nice person has half their stuff, well then together they kind of have a complete whole amount of stuff. It’s not quite a loss, it’s not quite a win, but it’s at least a reasonable outcome in terms of getting out of a really crappy marriage situation.

What I want you to do now is imagine those exact same scenarios but only one of them is earning an income. For the sake of brevity let’s just imagine that the guy is the primary breadwinner and the wife is the stay-at-home mom. And yes, I know it can be the other way round but let’s just keep this to a reasonable length video. We don’t have to be here all day covering every single possible outcome.

 

Nice NiceAlrighty, so he earns the money, she doesn’t. So we have the two, the double Nice outcome. And they still are happily married, everything is working fine. He works some longer hours, she does great at home, everybody is happy. It works out great for them.

 

 

 

Mean MeanAnd now we have the two Mean people. Just as before, it’s a really high conflict relationship. Eventually the relationship fails and it turns into an absolute feeding frenzy with divorce lawyers as everything just turns into a complete disaster. Both of them act very aggressively in the divorce.

 

 

Nice Mean

So now we get to the scenario where she’s Nice, he’s Mean, so he’s tried to sleep with her sister. He’s a complete jerk. He doesn’t help at all and she is very likely trapped in the relationship, because in order for her to be able to divorce him, she’s going to need some kind of income. She’s going to need to support herself. She may get some amount of alimony and even if she gets full custody and she gets all the child support, that may not be enough to keep her in the same sort of standard of living.

Very often women in this situation are trapped with the husband and they don’t want to be with him. They want to be divorced. They can’t get out and they very often can’t get out until they find some way of earning financial stability. I mean this is one of the reasons why women don’t leave abusive men, because they simply can’t afford to.

Mean NiceOkay so final scenario. It’s the Nice Guy husband with the Mean wife who’s a stay-at-home Mom. I’ve come across this scenario multiple times with coaching, where he desperately wants to leave the relationship but he simply can’t afford to because she’s financially dependent on him. So if it goes to divorce court, he’s probably going to end up paying some amount of alimony. He’s probably going to end up paying a lot of child support and he just can’t afford to be divorced. Also she can know this and make his life even worse when he attempts to leave the relationship.
So what I want you to see is that the one income family, when the relationship is falling apart, can be a real double edged sword. It can advantage whichever of the partners is the stronger one.

Sometimes that is the person who is earning no income because they can bully and push around the one who is earning the income, and sometimes it’s the one who is earning an income that is pushing around and bullying the one that isn’t earning the income. It’s a really topsy turvy crazy situation, but almost always for either one of these outcomes, what you want to do as a starting point, is get the person who is not earning an income to get some kind of job.

If you’re the stay-at-home Mom who’s trapped with some horrible guy and you can’t afford to divorce, one of your first steps is to get a job. And that may mean going back to school. It may mean some additional training. But part of your plan, one of your biggest puzzle pieces is getting a job. Likewise if you’re the guy that’s earning an income and she is a stay-at-home Mom and she’s digging in her heels and you can see the only outcome that’s really possible is divorce, one of the best things you can do in your interest is actually try and encourage her to get a job. Almost invariably when you suggest that though, they blow that stuff up. Oh my goodness do they blow that up. They hate that suggestion because they know the end is coming.

Something else to think about is that when you’re the weaker partner in the relationship, and sometimes that’s the one that has the income and sometimes that’s the one that doesn’t have the income. Almost invariably though, it is the one that is too Nice in the relationship while their partner is playing the Mean Card and getting away with a lot of stuff. If you’re being too Nice, that is horribly unattractive. Your partner does not respect you. Sometimes when you finally draw a line in the sand, when you finally start becoming self-supporting and standing up for yourself, sometimes that really does change their level of attraction for you and it can really improve things.

As a final thought, there is no down side to having a job when your relationship is falling apart. There’s no down side, there’s bad outcome for that.

Anyway I will leave it there. Like, share, subscribe and all that cool internet stuff.

And I will see you tomorrow.

 

(Transcript lightly edited from the video. The video is worth watching for all the interactions between the Nice and Mean characters.)

The One About $2190 Coffee

So one of the things I learned today is if you don’t fall asleep until 3:30 in the morning and you wake up three hours late, everything is three hours behind schedule and when you go to start shooting a video, everybody can see you wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

Hi there, my name is Athol and this vlog episode is going to be all about coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, alrighty, coffee.

One of the things I talked about briefly in yesterday’s episode is that we live in this giant commercial ecosystem that wants us to be obedient little drones that are going out and just spending money. Coffee is a great example of this.

One of the things my wife and I love going for walks, we have this mile and a half circuit around the neighborhood, and about half way around the circuit is a fancy coffee shop, and we would get a fancy coffee. Between the two of us it usually ran about $6. A cup for me, a cup for her. And $6 is not that much for a little treat. But then when it becomes part of your daily routine, well then you’re spending $42 a week, $180 a month, and $2190 a year.

And $2,190 a year is a completely insane figure for a cup of coffee each. I’m pretty sure if someone said to me, hey, you can spend $2000 and be in a Cup of Coffee of the Day club, I would have said no because that would have been such an insane amount of money to pay.

So we did this for a long time and eventually said we’re spending way too much on coffee, this is absolutely ridiculous and we broke down and bought one of those Keurig things.

If you don’t know what a Keurig is, it’s an automatic coffee maker, using disposable little K-cups so you can make exactly one cup of coffee. It’s a lot cheaper than going to Fancy Coffee Store. But each one of those little K-cups is fifty cents each and if you drink about four cups of coffee between the two of you, well that’s $2 a day, about $14 a week, about $60 a month, and $730 a year.

So that was fine and it worked for us for quite a while. Eventually our Keurig machine broke down and we didn’t really want to spend $120-140 bucks on something that might not move with us. We decided on a French press because it’s small, it’s cheap, and we can just toss it away when we move.  The French press coffee comes in a bag, and is actually costing us about fifty cents a day for four cups of coffee. Fifty cents a day, $3.50 a week, $15 a month and $182.50 a year to have the same amount of coffee that we had before when we were buying fancy coffee.

So $182.50 French Press vs. $2,190 Fancy Store Coffee.

Let’s talk about the fancy coffee. Now ironically, the fancy coffee from the Fancy Coffee Store is one of the slowest, most expensive, least convenient and most annoying things to actually get. It means you have to get up in the morning. You have to get dressed. You have to get in your car. You have to drive down to the store. You have to stand in line. You have to fish money out of your wallet, and then you have to hope that the person on the other side of the counter is going to get your order right. It’s so enraging when they get your order wrong because you’ve spent so much effort into getting there and it is so expensive to buy, that when they get it wrong it is incredibly frustrating.

One cream, two sugars! How hard is it? You’ve got one job. All you do is make coffee!

So it costs a lot, plus you’re addicted. Often though it’s really more of an emotional addiction, an emotional craving, a sense of being validated. It may as well be a stand in for a baby bottle for adults. Oh, ba ba how we missed you.

Plus it’s touching that someone you know, understands you and gets you and can remember something about you. The people serving you coffee remember who you are by name and by face and they can start making the coffee before you’ve even ordered it because they know your order. That’s a really powerful thing, and you know it’s really powerful because sometimes when your favorite coffee people aren’t there, you can actually experience a negative emotional reaction.

But I don’t want another person to make my coffee, I want Tiffany to make my coffee.

If you’ve every tried to actually just give up coffee and pull yourself off it completely, very often it’s hard to do. But interestingly it’s not often the caffeine itself that’s the true addiction, it’s the sugar that gets put into the coffee. If you’ve been getting giant store-bought fancy coffees, what’s really addictive is the giant pumps of hazelnut sweetener that goes into the coffee. So when you stop going there and you stop drinking it, it’s not that you’re having caffeine withdrawal, it’s that you have low blood sugar. And you’re addicted to the sugar as much as the coffee. I dare you, if you ever want to come off coffee, try getting off the sugar first and you’ll see how amazingly easy it is to take or leave the caffeine.

So anyway, we stopped doing the Fancy Store Coffee thing. We got the Keurig, we used it for a while. It crapped out and then we bought the French press. So let me tell you the most interesting thing about the French press. We use the exact same brand of coffee we’d been using in the K-cups. We just came to a default setting of this is our coffee. This exact same brand of coffee tasted so much better in the French press compared to the Keurig.

Did it take longer to make, yes it did. It took time for the water to boil. (Full disclosure: we smelted a kettle twice. Okay once it was totally my fault. Second time it was like that when I found it.) We would have to boil the water for the French press and let it sit. It was sort of a slower, more methodical approach to making coffee. But it’s stronger, it has more of an aroma, and it’s more satisfying.

The more I thought about it, the K-cup thing is nice, it’s quick, it’s easy, it’s convenient but the only reason to use a K-cup over a French press is because you’re impatient. Because you have to have things right now. Because you’re caught up in the whole instant gratification. I’ll have something crappy as long as I have it right now. It’s the whole dopamine thing. It’s the need to be updated endlessly. It’s the checking my phone version of coffee. THE French press is a little more communal. We make coffee together. It’s a whole lot cheaper. It’s reusable. It doesn’t have the waste.

So anyway summing up, I really don’t care if you get the Fancy Store coffee. I don’t care if you use a Keurig. I don’t think I’m a better person because I use a French press. I’m not on a mission to get everyone to use French presses. All I’m saying is that there are choices here that you are probably making completely unconsciously. That there’s a pattern of interaction that you’re probably just falling into.

All I’m really saying is be mindful.

So anyway that is today’s episode. I do this each and every day and I will catch you tomorrow.

Starting the Madness

 

Alrighty, so why am I going to do the daily vlogging thing?

My personality is one of someone who is intellectual and very creative. For me the real challenge is to turn a creative thought into something that is consumable, some sort of product, whether it is a book or a video or a course or something. Looking back over my life, my most productive period was from about mid-2009 to about the middle of 2013 where I was writing a near daily blog. I often found the pressure of trying to produce something almost daily forced me into a mode where I had to produce something. I often started writing on a topic without any idea of what the actual answer was and many times I got answers to questions half way through a blog post where an idea would come or an insight would come, and that would be the solution.

So what I’ve learned about myself is I need a deadline, an adrenaline rush to actually kick start and propel the whole creative process for me. I think this is common to many creative people. I mean this is something I saw Louis C.K. say something about at his eulogy for George Carlin.

“I’m listening and they ask him how do you do all this material, and I hear him and he says well I just decided every year I’d be working on that year’s special. And I do the special and then I just chuck out the material and I start again with nothing. And I thought that’s crazy. How do you throw it away? It took me fifteen years to build this shitty hour. If I throw it away I got nothing.”

As an additional thought, writing is by no means dead, but everything is far more heading to video. And to be honest, I just love YouTube.

Alrighty so fast forward… (video fast forwards)  …and then the beginning of 2016 I had my heart attack. (Wait. What?) And it’s about a year later from then. I’m almost coming up to the one year anniversary. So that just covered five years in one sentence. (Crap sorry, now I feel bad for fast forwarding). My focus has been primarily on writing about relationships and sex and marriage, and I’ve produced books and I do coaching and I’m pretty much successful at helping people improve their marriages. I have a really good skill set with that.

But what I’m starting to really increasingly find are people getting in contact with me too late. People aren’t contacting me until it’s a 911 situation. Which turns me into a marriage fire fighter. Rather than being a marriage firefighter, I would much rather be a marriage fire marshal where my role is work on prevention and make sure people don’t get into situations where it all starts burning to the ground. To actually ensure that crises don’t happen because I’ve been able to be proactive and preventative.

One of the things I’ve really learned over the last five, six years in particular, is that very often what turns into a relationship issue is really a life issue. It’s something to do with their whole life rather than the marriage.

A really classic example is when people years ago they bought the big, big house that they didn’t really have much business buying. They’ve struggled to hold onto it. Something else bad happens in their life. They have some kind of setback and then they slowly spiral into bankruptcy and foreclosure and it’s the bankruptcy and the foreclosure that does the real damage to the relationship. So by the time people are calling me then, the real problem was all the way back when they bought the house that was too big. When they got suckered into that. And it leaves me with little to do in terms of really being able to fix that problem at the end of it.

We live in this giant commercial ecosystem where we are encouraged and propelled to buy more, consume more, get more of this, wear more of those. You have to go to these places and have these things. It really does seem that every dollar we make is just being actively milked for as many pennies as they can get by a bunch of multinational corporations and the banks.

Meanwhile we’re just fed this smokescreen of disinformation about what we should be doing, how we should be doing it, and what we should commit to. We’re in this endless dopamine haze of new things constantly happening. We’re all checking our phones endlessly. Probably if you’re like me and everyone else you will tend to wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is check your phone. We’re in this haze of social media drama and hype.

Look at every new movie that comes out. There is a hype train that can last for six months or a year before the movie even gets to theaters. Then we go see the movie and afterwards we have this sort of post-event emotional crash, because ten dollars that we spent on a two hour movie didn’t take away the existential angst of simply being alive. (Luke Skywalker better have more screen time in the next movie. Been waiting since 1983 to see Luke Skywalker again. All that buildup and it only lasted ten seconds. That’s what she said. Subscribe or I’ll start using puns.)

In that ecosystem of more more more, now now now, check your phones dopamine haze, one of the few things that can actually bring us real happiness is our relationships. Because you can’t replace warmth and intimacy with another real person, who loves you, and is connected to you… by buying more things, having more stuff, checking your phone and being in this constant media cycle.

Speaking as someone that’s had a heart attack and has gotten to lay awake at night looking at the ceiling tiles in ICU, I can assure you that when you’re in that position you are not going to be worried about how many followers you have. You’re not going to be worried about the car you drive. You’re not going to be worried about whether you got to see the next movie that’s coming out. The only thing you’ll be thinking about is your family, your husband, your wife, your children.

So tying that all together, I’m going to start the challenge of producing some sort of daily vlog. And I think vlogs come in three main types. I think there are the ones that are mostly focused on feelings, the ones that are mostly focused on thoughts, and there are the ones that are focused on some kind of action and activity. I think over time I will probably be more focused on thoughts and as my health gets better it will slowly transition into more of an action vlog.

Overall I just feel better when I produce. I’ve noticed over the last month and a half when my production in videos has come up, I’m actually truly feeling better. Like I am doing the right thing. I’m feeling more energized. I’m feeling happier, like I’m doing what I should be doing.

I do have one big caveat though. What I’ve seen over and over again with the people that start daily vlogs is that they burn out and crash or have some sort of breakdown and I do not want that to happen to me. I’ve had my turn in the barrel at doing too much and having a big breakdown. So probably my Sunday vlog will be pre-recorded. I won’t be on a daily schedule with that. I still want to produce something but that’s probably all going to be prerecorded in the week ahead of time.

So overall, I’m still really interested in relationships, but going forward there’s going to be more about the world in which we have our relationships. So that’s the plan. Going to start it, going to see what happens. Right now I have a tiny handful of subscribers on YouTube and for you people, thank you so much for being here. I truly do appreciate it.

Anyway… I’ve got crap gear, no skills, no real planning. I’m still sort of recovering from a heart attack. And I will see you tomorrow.

“Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?”   -Gimli.

 

Video transcript is lightly edited for the blog. You won’t believe how much I say “and”, “so”, “sort of”, “just” and “that”.